April 2016 ~ i want you, exactly like i used to

naturally, i should be studying for an exam i have tomorrow morning but i can't help but be a lazy piece of shit. so here i am, writing in a blog that i know no one reads because... well... i never tell anyone about it.
if you care to notice, i'm obsessed with beyonce's 'lemonade' right now. it's on high rotation. whether or not it's about her marital troubles, or about the struggle of black women in society, it's hella catchy and as a white woman-type person, i enjoy it immensely and i don't understand how i can appropriate it for my own white benefit. is it a crime to be white now? legit asking for a... friend. yeah. we'll go with that. tumblr is a wasteland of strange, sometimes.
fucking come at me, bros.
whatever. enjoy, kids.

xoxo
-- ffh

10. don't let me down - chainsmokers ft daya
9. heroes - david bowie
8. light it up - major lazer ft nyla & fuse ODG
7. life on mars? - david bowie
6. 2am - bear hands
5. ultralightbeam - kanye west
4. freedom - beyonce ft kendrick lamar
3. i hate u, i love u - gnash ft olivia o'brien
2. hold up - beyonce
1. waves - kanye west

'one day i'll stand with a crown on my head like a god, yeah like a god. with every step no i won't second guess what i want. i wanna be like kanye, i'll be the king of me always. do what i want i have it my way, all day like kanye yeah.'
-- kanye the chainsmokers

little known fact: i fucking love kanye west.

i'm not saying that he's a great person-- i'm a staunch believer that you don't have to like someone to enjoy their music. like, i personally cannot stand beck's affiliation with scientology (here is where i get stalked, yeah?) but i enjoy his music [that he made before the last 3 years because it's pretty much trash after epro i think]. understandably, i can't understand the whole kim kanye thing, but i'm not them and if they're happy (or disgustingly wealthy and therefore better than the rest of us-- surely you can't be miserable if you can afford any yeezus clothing... right?), but i can appreciate kanye sans kim.
kanye is a douche. we can all agree on that. yes, your thoughts on the king of licking his own asshole are very original. very good, pat yourselves on the back.

secretly i enjoy how big of an ass he is. it's part and parcel of the 'ye experience-- would he be such a good producer/rapper if he wasn't a bit of a dickwad?

i'll defend kanye until i'm blue in the face. it was the same when chris brown was caught smacking a bitch up and everyone was like, nah, you can't fuck with chris brown anymore. the man still makes good music, he just has anger issues.

i write a good paper, but i'm also a piece of shit. see? we all have our flaws.

getting back to the matter at hand.

the life of pablo is good. it's better than yeezus (although they both are good for different reasons but i never appreciated yeezus the way i love the life of pablo).

i can't express how hype i am that frank ocean is still doing frank ocean. loved him odd future, loved his solo things. get really hype that he's on some tracks on the life of pablo. it feels like it's 2012 all over again.

except there will be no watch the throne. i still put that album on blast. i have great memories associated with it but parts of that album are exemplary examples of what happens when kanye is pushed in the correct creative ways under the strict guidance of HOV.

the life of pablo is being touted as unfinished and hurried by critics. sure, it sounds.. chaotic. but isn't that just kanye? he seems like he could be a bit manic at times, and the album reflects this. there's some braggadocio, of course. but it's still brilliant. the samples are on point. i just can't say with decisive language how this album makes me feel-- it's simultaneously stressful (i feel like i'm on the edge of my seat all the time) but i'm fucking hype at each consecutive song. this is the kanye i miss-- this is less produced and radio-ready that 808 and heartbreak comes off, but this is less experimental than yeezus. or is it more? am i just more receptive to this album?

i think it has something to do with the guests he has on the tracks. i've never seen such an eclectic but stellar collection of collaborators. i already expounded my love of frank ocean, but the sia bit on wolves? fucking transcendent. chris brown, kendrick lamar, the weeknd. not to mention the wonderful bit by chance the rapper-- who i have to admit is probably my favourite up and comer. stellar. i'm thinking in half sentences since i'm listening to the album on repeat right now and it's distracting me. it's literally taking away my focus it's so gripping. how could you go wrong!?

i digress. fucking listen to the album. maybe even buy it, because we all know how poor kanye is these days.

top five:
5. fml
4. wolves
3. ultralight beams
2. no more parties in LA
1. waves

(honorable mention: i love kanye-- could i love him more? i doubt it)

i want you, exactly like i used to

currents

currents

i wanna be like kanye