It all started with an Instagram post.
I thought nothing of it, as these things go. Someone famous was missing and their family was concerned about their mental health. I was getting my hair cut; I thought nothing of this overt cry for information. Plus, we were so distant from one another-- me in Canada and everyone in the U.K. Plus they're modestly famous-- famous people don't go missing. I moved on and put it out of my mind.
It all ended with a CNN post.
Scottish police would recover a body at Port Edgar the following day. The body? Scott Hutchinson, lead singer of Frightened Rabbit.
The news article would go on to quote his twitter, giving a snapshot into Scott's final communications. They are, as one could imagine, heartbreaking.
"I'm away now. Thanks."
I came upon Frightened Rabbit eight years ago. I don't remember how now, but I stumbled across swim until you can't see land and played it on continuous loop for about two weeks, despite my (actual) Scottish friends telling me to "turn that shite off." I loved the way Scott seemed to pour out his words; you could feel the pain and the hopefulness of someone who hoped they'd get better.
'She was not the cure for cancer. And all my questions still ask for answers. But there is nothing like someone know. This girl she was nothing like you,' Scott sang to me on my drive to school. 'The fun stuff is not so fun without you,' he would sing to me when I was missing my then long-distance friend-wish-benefits.
Things changed, and I grew up, but Frightened Rabbit was still my go-to when I needed to transport to 2010, away from the hustle of my life right now. The Woodpile was my strutting across campus song. Their songs were always on my playlists and will forever continue to be so.
Depression sucks. It makes you lose a bit of yourself, the fun parts, the parts that made you who you are. It makes you shades of greys; a monochromatic human as flat as a cartoon. There are times I remember that person-- the person who just wanted an adventure. Life beat me down, dulled my shine and now I don't even know what I like anymore. Frightened Rabbit helps transport me back outside of the greys, back to a time when there was still a sparkle.
I don't claim to say that I'm the cure for cancer, and I can't answer any of your questions, but there's nothing like getting to know someone new, because the person I'm becoming is nothing like I used to be.
I guess, thanks to Frightened Rabbit and therefore Scott, I'm not miserable now.
Rest easy, friend. We never knew one another, but I understood you. Thank you, so much, for everything you didn't know you were doing.
'She was not the cure for cancer. And all my questions still ask for answers. But there is nothing like someone know. This girl she was nothing like you,' Scott sang to me on my drive to school. 'The fun stuff is not so fun without you,' he would sing to me when I was missing my then long-distance friend-wish-benefits.
Things changed, and I grew up, but Frightened Rabbit was still my go-to when I needed to transport to 2010, away from the hustle of my life right now. The Woodpile was my strutting across campus song. Their songs were always on my playlists and will forever continue to be so.
Depression sucks. It makes you lose a bit of yourself, the fun parts, the parts that made you who you are. It makes you shades of greys; a monochromatic human as flat as a cartoon. There are times I remember that person-- the person who just wanted an adventure. Life beat me down, dulled my shine and now I don't even know what I like anymore. Frightened Rabbit helps transport me back outside of the greys, back to a time when there was still a sparkle.
I don't claim to say that I'm the cure for cancer, and I can't answer any of your questions, but there's nothing like getting to know someone new, because the person I'm becoming is nothing like I used to be.
I guess, thanks to Frightened Rabbit and therefore Scott, I'm not miserable now.
Rest easy, friend. We never knew one another, but I understood you. Thank you, so much, for everything you didn't know you were doing.