this is the darkest timeline

One day, I hope to look back at 2020 and laugh. I hope to be able to look at this incredible, roller coaster shit show of a year and say, "wow, I'm stronger because of this."

My birthday present from the universe was pausing the NBA season after a player tested positive for COVID-19. Luckily, my team had been eliminated from the playoffs the day before which, in its own way, is comical. A day late, a buck short I'm writing the report on losing and failing, commiserating. I don't have anything to do on a nightly basis now so I guess I'll have to break down and read a book or something (ew). Reading Reddit is just making me depressed so I will reread Harry Potter from start to finish again because I seek the comfort I'm not allowed to have from another human right now.

All of the grocery stores near me are sold out of tissues and toilet paper which, when you think about it, is mostly completely stupid. The virus has flu-like symptoms, not 'holy shit this is what dysentery feels like' symptoms so the whole toilet paper thing makes no sense. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, you were right Agent K. Also is the potential end of the world a good time to tell everyone I have a huge thing for Tommy Lee Jones?


Anyhow, I'm writing this from my own self-imposed quarantine for what is I'm hoping just a garden variety cold intermingled with the damned sinus infection that will not go away and not something more sinister though statistically I'm doomed so really what's the point? The students I see regularly on Tuesday's haven't quite grasped that coughing in my face isn't a sign of respect and is in fact, super fucking gross so I'm a ticking, infectious time bomb.

I can honestly say 2020 can bite my balls. Three months in and I'm ready for it to be over. I'm just thankful I live in Canada and not in the U.S.A. where their leader, Mango Mussolini, is a verifiable moron. Thoughts and prayers.

This isn't really a currents list and more of a playlist for the end of days to help you chuckle at the complete breakdown of society and social services at the weight of this pandemic. It's what our ancestors who lived through the Spanish Influenza would have wanted. I also urge anyone with a sense of humor to check out the playlist COVID-19 Quarantine Party on spotify because it's pure fire and I borrowed many a song from their list.

Remember: wash your hands and stay safe out there. As a teacher, I look forward to teaching the bumper crop of kids that will be born in September/October/November of this year when they come of age.

xoxo
-- ffh

- it's the end of the world - R.E.M. (and I feel fine)
- idiotique - radiohead
- doomsday clock - smashing pumpkins
- survivalism - nine inch nails
- skyfall - adele
- toxic - britney spears
- mask off - future
- sicko mode - travis scott
- cough syrup - young the giant
- unwell - matchbox twenty
- don't stand so close to me - the police
- toxicity - system of a down
- stayin' alive - the beegees
- antisocial - ed sheeran & travis scott
- the kids don't stand a chance - vampire weekend
- harder to breathe - maroon 5
- no air - jordan sparks & chris brown
- leaving on a jet plane - sunshine on my goddamn shoulders john denver
- city with no children - arcade fire
- burnin' up - the jonas brothers
- the kill - thirty seconds to mars
- down with the sickness - disturbed (OOH AH AH AH AH)
- u can't touch this - mc hammer
- every breath you take - the police
- another one bites the dust - queen
- no time to die - billie eilish
- you make me sick - pink
- put your hands where my eyes can see - busta rhymes
- around the world - daft punk
- temperature - sean paul