i can't hate drake (but i still do)

 i'm canadian. 

i wear a toque, not a beanie. i've fought with those flying vermin known as a Canadian goose. I have winter boots that I wear well into May. I apologize a lot. I enjoy free healthcare regularly (my acl surgery? freeeeee). I speak in Celsius, kilometres, centimetres, etc...

While I'm the opposite of a Toronto Raptors fan (fuck you, you injured my sweet baby boy Klay Thompson and I will hate you until I die. Warriors [Boston] fan fo' LIFE!), and Toronto in general because it's just a shitty, overpriced place that believes the world to revolve around it, I have always been low key proud of Canadian hip hop. It's inventive, and creative and Toronto has always been a larger hub for entertainment. I daresay my western cowboy-themed province would ever birth anything beyond 

That being said, I fucking hate Drake. 

He can rep the 406 all he goddamn wants, I do not care for his lazy line delivery and overt braggadocio. I'll still remember him as the forever friendzoned fanboy of RiRi, and don't even get me started on his questionable relationship with his son, you know, the one he fathered with a stripper that he kept a secret for a long time? 

But... I can't hate him for the video for Popstar. I want to, sweet baby Jesus, do I want to hate him for this simply because he's Drake and everything he does makes me want to poke out my own ear drum, but I just can't find it in myself to hate it. And there's so much to hate about this video. 

I could hate that he got Bieber in it, the lovable Canadian heartthrob scamp who once peed in a bucket and assumed Anne Frank would have been a Belieber. The same scamp who I imagine to smell vaguely of Axe body spray and cheap weed (a nostalgic but disgusting smell nonetheless). I could hate that DJ Khaled, the insufferable but prolific producer is featured wandering about his manse and drinking what I can only assume is Cristal because why wouldn't it be? I could hate the wardrobe, the fact that they got too many people together during a pandemic in a closed room, hell you could even hate the song. 

But I can't. I tried.