mick jagger's rubber band

i find myself watching CNN's 'Seventies' as i write this which is curious on it's own. however, i caught a glimpse of a half-naked Mick Jagger in his underwear while they were recording in france and now i feel like perhaps i've been sent an omen from the underworld that bad things will happen to me in the next week. it was like that sketchy videotape in the ring. send help?

post-surgery is still kicking my ass but i ran out of drugs that week (what surgeon only gives someone 20 percocet knowing full well that you needwant to take 2 every 4 hours?! these sports med doctors who push physio rather than staying high for three weeks. pssshh dicks) so my mind is a lot clearer than previous. now i'm just high on life like a regular person... and cbd/sativa blends.

that being said, i returned to work this week so i haven't had the time to come up with more than 5 songs this week. between substitute teaching, crying over how mean 3rd graders are, crying over how much my knee hurts and feeling the usual pressing weight of seasonal affective disorder (thanks daylight savings time, i love it when it's dark at 330) i haven't had much time or motivation to listen to music.

so enjoy while i practically bathe in vitamin d. and vitamin c because kids are gross.

xoxo
-ffh

p.s.: jesus is king................  wut? thoughts coming soon. maybe.

5. ultralight beam - kanye west, the-dream, kirk franklin, chance the rapper, kelly price
4. coffee & weed - westpark
3. candle - quinn xcii
2. be nice - these handz, murs, the grouch, brady watt
1. rolling - michael kiwanuka

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post-surgery is kicking my ass

i had acl repair surgery yesterday and today i've been floating on that percocet dream life. i think understand why people like to take it as a recreational drug. though i could do without the nausea. no one talks about the nausea.

anyhow. i have the attention span of a gnat so i could only manage 7 songs that seem to be constantly in my head (7 is the same number of horcruxes voldemort had, number of weasley children and how long in minutes i can concentrate right now). forgive me, or don't, i don't care. my next dose is in 45 minutes so this mushy brain feeling is prohibiting me from feeling too strongly 'bout anything. except for how much pain i'm in.

and that rivers cuomo is a snack. and elijah wood. i have a skinny, small white boy thing, i admit it.

i'd also like to point out that kanye is dropping jesus is king in two days. i will be appropriately prepared for the let down but, see above for how much i don't care about things.

xoxo
--ffh

p.s. what's going on with asher roth? maturity is a good look for him; he finally graduated! gotta make money to pay that student loan for 13 years of college. bahaahahhaaha.

lordy mcgordy i'm high.

p.p.s.: i am strangely articulate despite having taken narcotics pretty much straight for the last 2 days. i'm not sure if this is a sign that i did too many drugs growing up or that i'm made of stronger stuff.

7. old town road road pony remix - pomplamoose
6. me & you - little stranger
5. mommydog - asher roth
4. planet x - calimossa
3. gucci rock n rolla - snakehips, rivers cuomo & kyle
2. swim high - babyteeth ft rivka rose
1. high - young thug ft elton john (only because it's like a theme song right now)

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these are a few of my least favorite things...

I go on about things I like on this blog. I like Watsky and Austin Post Malone (despite how much I think he looks like he smells like Doritos); I like Radiohead and John Mayer, old-school Kanye and Glass Animals and most of the things recorded at Staxx and Motown. But, like every good academic essay, there should be elements that argue the opposition; you should be aware enough of the arguments against you own argument.

So today's playlist is made up of 20 examples of music I fucking hate. Not just music I choose not to listen to should it pop up on a playlist or turn to a different station on the radio when it comes on. This is music that makes my blood boil and my rage churn in my gut like lactose. This is music I abos-fucking-lutely hate and make me hate the fact I have ears.

The making of this playlist was painful, I'll acknowledge it. I had to scour the deep recesses of my brain to remember that song I heard once that made me want to crash my car into a guardrail. I had to actually listen to a few of them to verify if they were in fact, the song that I despised. Many of these entries have doubles as I kind of despise the artist and not only the song that made the list, so take it all with a grain of salt. 

Enjoy my pain. I think they call this schadenfreude. The things I do for you.

xoxo
--ffh

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It's been one week since you laughed at me...

As a Canadian, I feel like I should support Canadian artists occasionally, like the Barenaked Ladies for example. 

Or I could not because that's just as easy. But I do have one week until I'll be cooked off Percocet after my ACL reconstruction surgery and the lyrics worked as a perfect segue to discuss my problems. 

Anyhow, below is what's been keeping me sane as I slowly descend into pre-surgical panic. Do they give Valium out a week beforehand? Top 5 because I got bored halfway through. Curse you ADHD.

xoxo

--ffh

5. westworld - evan giia

4. voices - kembe x

3. retro (rough) - childish gambino 

2. nobody but you - matthew chaim

1. soaked - BENEE 

'... i know what i did to you was wrong hence why i've kept it for this long. secrets have been brewing up a storm. did not expect it to transform. soaked up in my brain, for another day. these things i'm tryna say drenched and swept away that's the truth. soaked up in my brain, don't know what to say. something about you boy you soak up half my brain yes you do... ' 

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I forget often that this blog started out listing nothing but indie hits I mined from MTV's undiscovered playlists (at least, I think that's what they used to be called) and from Blalock's Indie Rock Playlist, or BIRP for short. I haven't downloaded an BIRP monthly in years. I moved on. But as with anything, I still find myself drawn into the genre occasionally. What can I say-- I'm a sucker for Bon Iver.

So in an concerted effort to have more exposure to more than just Spotify's curated hip hop playlists (which I also dislike but for various reasons [Post Malone, DaBaby, Lil Nas, etc...] but still listen to for background noise), I've been listening to the local alternative radio station. Thankfully, it's been pretty innocuous for the most part; I've only turned the radio off in anger oncethrice for them getting into a groove of playing absolute shit. But I've arrived at a few conclusions that I think are important to note.

1. How have I never mentioned how much I absolutely despise July Talk? If there was one band that, if given absolute power to eliminate all living and dead memory of, it would be July Talk for me. I cannot stand his gravelly voice, nor her falsetto and their god awful duets. It makes me feel a sense of rage I didn't know I was capable of. 
2. Radiohead gets an unfair lack of airtime outside of 'Creep'. They have better songs, trust me. 
3. HOW DOES MR BRIGHTSIDE STILL HAVE SO MUCH AIRTIME? WHY ARE WE LETTING BRANDON FLOWERS WIN??????? Cease this foolishness, posthaste. [*Anecdote: I once saw The Killers in concert, and it was one of my least memorable events to date, and I've seen Lilith Fair*]
4. All of Metric's songs are basically indistinguishable from each other. Fight me on this. 
5. Tegan and Sarah are the devices that the Devil brought. Even though their from my hometown, I cannot in good conscience 'stan' them, 'Everything is Awesome' notwithstanding. 
6. I feel like there should be a public outcry for transparency in where a lot of the royalty revenue goes. Artists deserve to be paid fairly for their intellectual property, and there are cost inherent in this, but I also wonder how much of that money is say, going towards questionable organizations, like Scientology. Or P.E.T.A. Fuck those guys.

There are other thoughts, but most of them are centered around how I can't tell the difference between Young the Giant and Tame Impala or whatever. I'm sure if I was actually listening I might be able to but I've already made up my mind.

Anyhow, the top 10 that are mercifully free of July Talk. I think I'd rather be dead than include them. I'm also still very much in a Radiohead/John Mayer mood. No apologies. 

xoxo

--ffh

10. Codex - Radiohead

9. Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae

8. 6's to 9's - Big Wild ft. Rationale

7. Truth Hurts - Lizzo

6. House of Cards - Radiohead

5. Rock Bottom - grandson

4. St. Patrick's Day - John Mayer 

3. Skip - SuperParka

2. Sugar - BROCKHAMPTON

1. Sugar Honey Iced Tea - Princess Nokia

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hey all,

This week is all about John Mayer. Why, I'm not entirely sure, but I'm really digging going through his old catalog, avoiding the trite pop hits like "Your Body is a Wonderland" and instead going for the bluesier hits like "Gravity" or "I'm Gonna Find Another You."
Apparently my inner early aughts frat boy is making an appearance? At least it's not the Dave Matthews Band. Small miracles, I guess.

This week is also all about the singer-songwriter, folksy, country elements. I also don't know why, because normally I despise country music in all its insidious forms. Yet I find myself drawn to Casey Musgraves right now, and Tyler Childers, particularly his "Feathered Indians." Real, modern country?! I hear no mention of America, freedom, trucks, Wranglers, ticks, knockin' boots, or any other inane elements I loathe about pop-country that seems to permeate everything around where I live. Perhaps I just hate the country I've been spoon fed my entire existence. Perhaps I really dig hearing about how Tyler Childers should have known his love interests' dad was a religious man so he wouldn't have come in stoned. Or that Casey Musgrave's grandma cried when she pierced her nose. These are things I can relate to. AM I GETTING EVEN OLDER?!

I would be in a Kanye mood, but alas, Jesus is King didn't drop on Sunday like Kim K had mentioned. I'm almost relieved-- I need to be focusing on writing perfect cover letters and tailoring my resume so that I can finally use my degree(s) for good instead of just collecting dust in their frames. I think when my savings run out, I'll use them for fire fuel because then they'll actually do something for me. I digress.

I might also mention here that I really enjoy anything Frank Ocean does. I wish he would do more, but I probably wouldn't like him if he did. His cover of "Moon River" is spectacular, highlighting his vocal range and control and the fact that if anyone should be covering R&B standards like "Moon River," it should be him and him alone (though I wouldn't say no to a gospel-inspired version by Kanye West. Just sayin').

 Anyhow, I hope my melancholy white-boy infatuation isn't detracting. It's just a phase, mom.

xoxo
--ffh

10. feathered indians - tyler childers
9. slow burn - Casey musgraves
8. only one - kanye west
7. dangerous - nick murphy/chet faker
6. moon river - frank ocean
5. hey ma - bon iver
4. slow dancing in a burning room - john mayer
3. i'm gonna find another you - john mayer
2. in repair - john mayer
1. gravity - john mayer

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Austin Post is Doing Things and I hate him for it?

Ok, spoiler alert: I don't hate Austin Post Malone as much as I say I do. It's one of those things where you can't hate the player, hate the game.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, I can feel better posting the my feelings about his new album, Hollywood is Bleeding.

It's shit.

Certifiable guano.

Why poor Ozzy Osbourne had to come out of whatever travel show he and his son are filming now (I have a soft spot for that mumbling recovered addict and his exuberant family [except for Kelly, whom I think is a twat]) to sing on that song, I'll never understand. At least it got the masses talking about Ozzy again? I saw some tweets about how cool that Ozzy fellow was, and how kind of Posty to give him a go on the album. OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN! Ozzy had had four, maybe five relapses before they were even born. Really puts things into perspective.

Aside from Ozzy... eh. The album is mediocre. It's no Beerbongs & Bentley's but whatever. Not everything has to be a masterpiece. I will, however, pump 'wow' as loud as my car speakers can sustain as often as I feel like.

Anyhow, another uninspired week. I really wish I knew how to manipulate the Spotify Discover Weekly so it isn't filled with comedy rap because I listened to one Lonely Island song ('Motherlover' for the record, a classic) or weird folk music that I would never, ever listen to in a million years (thanks for that, Lana del Ray). I will confess to being on a Radiohead jag because there's something so befitting of fall as Thom Yorke's voice.

later, kids.

xoxo
--ffh

10. dance monkey - tones and i
9. the chain - fleetwood mac
8. walkin' back to georgia - jim croce
7. middle child - j. cole
6. house of cards - radiohead
5. 15 step - radiohead
4. burn the witch - radiohead
3. up - social club misfits
2. the search - nf
1. faith - moguai, luciana

'... I got faith, I got hopes. I want money, I got soul. I want love, I got dreams. I wanna shake your heart until it bleeds. I got faith, I got hopes. I want money, I got soul. I want love, I got dreams. I wanna shake your heart. I got faith. I feel the power. Now all the darkness is gone. Shake off the haters, I love all the people I've known. My spirit's high, there's no height I can't climb on my own. This is the time of my life and now I'm number one. Can you feel the love? ...'

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So, I suck. I admit it, as I have numerous times previous and will continuously do as time marches on because I am but a mere human who sometimes doesn't have the motivation to log in to this blog, find new music that's worth listening to. 

But when I do come back, it's because there's something worth saying. I'm nothing if not honest in my intention to bring better music to the forefront. And sometimes I haven't quite heard anything lately that makes me sit up and pay attention. 

I spent my summer working, being exhausted from work, pondering the meaning of life, and soaking up a lot of sun. It also helps that I worked outside this summer so I got a good tan and a healthy dose of vitamin C, which from my readings apparently my body can't digest or whatever very well because I'm from Canada. Chronically Vit D deficient. Just call me fucking lucky, I guess?

Anyhow. I graduated with my second (and final... for now) degree in June, which is something both monumental and terrifying. It's the first time in 26 years that I haven't started school in September and let me tell you, the notion is t e r r i f y i n g. 

Cue the existential crisis. 

But that's not why we're here. 

Below, the 12 songs (a nice dozen, lucky you!) I have been listening to on repeat for a majority of the summer. I'm a creature of habit, what can I say. I wish I could say I listened to the new Tool album, but I honestly can't bring myself to submit to the 14hrs of Maynard jerking off. A small part of my industrial hardened heart died admitting it to myself, but sometimes we all have to grow up. 

xoxo

-- ffh

12. empty - olivia o'brien

11. sugar - BROCKHAMPTON

10. amazing - bohdi, cactus?

9. 6666 - four fists, P.O.S., astronautilis

8. cigarettes on patios - babyjake

7. waterfalls - ten fé

6. doin' time - lana del ray

5. ride - chiddy bang 

4. complainer - cold war kids

3. beverly blues - opia

2. a.o.k - adrian eagle

1. slide away - miley cyrus

'... once upon a time, it was paradise. once upon a time, I was paralyzed. Think I'm gonna miss these harbor lights but it's time to let it go. Once upon a time it was made for us; woke up one day it had turned to dust. baby, we were found but now we're lost so it's time to let it go. move on, we're not 17. I'm not who I used to be. You say that everything changed-- you're right, we're grown now. So won't you slide away back to the ocean, I'll go back to the city lights...'

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was gone for a lil' while but now i'm back at the jump off, said lil' kim shortly before she went to jail for a year after being convicted for perjury. we won't mention that she originally faced 20 years for lying to a grand jury four times back in 2005 during a trial regarding a shoot out between rival rappers at a new york night club. 

i took a few weeks off post-practicum completion to do nothing and not open my laptop. it was a great experience after being glued to it for 14 weeks straight.

anyways, the current high-rotation.

xoxo
--ffh

10. pillow talking - lil dicky
9. faucet failure - ski mask the slump god
8. tuesday - malibu ken, aesop rock, tobacco
7. delilah - deca
6. dead people - mr. green
5. dvno - justice
4. sussudio - phil collins
3. basilisk - cemetary drive
2. nice for what - drake
1. penis song - macklemore

'... this is my penis song. i wish that i had a bigger schlong. one that was quite a bit more thick and way more long. one of those porno king kong dongs...'

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This week's top 10s brought to you by my grade 7 classes, who listen to shit, but catchy shit, the worst kind of shit. 

Excluded is the song "Mia Khalifa" because it's actual trash and the fact I accidentally told some 13 year-old's who Mia Khalifa is and I'm still horrified. 

Anyways, the top 10s I wish I didn't like but have been on heavy rotation this weekend. The starred entries are my own. Thank god, I'd blow my brains out if I only listened to Migos. 

xoxo 

--ffh

10. i love - joyner lucas 

9. flexin' on my ex - hovey benjamin*

8. donde - 0800*

7. higher - brian fresco, just a gent & chance the rapper* 

6. always somethin' - kill them with colour*

5. all good girls go to hell - billie eilish*

4. swervin' - boogie wit da hoodie ft 6ix9ine

3. my strange addiction - billie eilish 

2. boogie - brockhampton*

1. walk it talk it - migos ft drake

'... i like to walk around with my chain loose (chain, chain!). she just bought a new ass but got the same boobs (same boobs!). whipping up dope, scientist (whip it up, whip it up) (cook it up, cook it up) (skrrt-skrrt)...' 

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Country Grammar.

And not the sick Nelly song that I like to listen to more than is truly acceptable for 2019 but a question of the direction of popular music in reference to Lil Nas X & Billy Ray Cyrus on "Old Country Road."

First of all, what year is it? Billy Ray fucking Cyrus?

When I think of Billy Ray Cyrus, I think of this dude who is clearly all business in the front and 100% party in the back. Not some guy who wears skinny jeans and might dye his beard. Age is something that gets all of us, Billy. Just embrace it.

As for Old Country Road, I feel like we've been here before. Nelly and Tim McGraw are the ones that come to mind first. I had a friend who loved country and r&b in high school, so "Over and Over Again" was her fucking jam. I'm still confused as to what Tim McGraw had to do in it except the hook, and even then it was more Nelly exploring a more sensitive side to his music. And now look at where he is. Crickets, that's where.

Despite the melding of hip hop and country, country music is, however, still trash in my opinion.

I live in a city where for 10 days I'm forced through association to be as country as possible. Beyond wrastlin' hogs and possibly having an incestuous relationship with a family member (thank god I'm an only child!), the city turns into a barn burner for two weekends and I hate it.

Despite my inability to understand the draw that is the Stampede and everything that it stands for (except for the mini donuts), it's the music that I despise most. It pervades my senses, it's everywhere and always at an unacceptable volume (meaning that I can hear it). In traffic, the hillbilly in their lifted Ford is blasting Luke Bryan or some other god awful excuse for country at top fucking volume. All of my friends listen to country exclusively.

I'm the odd duck out who can't name a single country song newer than Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places" which I think was one of the only country songs I've ever listened to. Well... no. That's a lie. I used to like the song "Ticks" by Brad Paisley because it's hilarious. And I think every kid from my city knows "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's "Cadillac Ranch," and "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" by Big & Rich like we know the ways to get to our parents houses just because of how often we've heard them. I learned how to line dance to Cadillac Ranch in junior high. Yes, I know how to line dance and it's totally a requirement in phys-ed. I wish I didn't.

Just researching these songs is going to ruin my Spotify recommendations for months. Fuck.

So Lil Nas X. I have so many questions. First off, weird flex but okay. "Ridin' on a tractor, lean all in my bladder. Cheated on my baby, you can go and ask her. My life is a movie, bull ridin' and boobies. Cowboy hat from Gucci, Wrangler on my booty." WHAT THE FUCK? Second, what is your purpose? Are you bridging the widening gap between popular music types, or are you making a mockery of the music industry? I don't care which, I just wonder is all.

I'm all for exploring collaborations, but is this the best we could come up with?

xoxo
--ffh

P.S. Wranglers look so uncomfortable. I haven't had a pair since I was 8 and chubby, but I remember that unforgiving waistband digging in and making me feel sick. Red marks for days. I'm sure nothing's changed in the 23 years since.

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Does anyone know what Fetty Wap is saying whenever he raps? I'm legitimately stumped most of the time-- it's like the tone of his voice confuses my synapses and it's decoded in my brain as complete gibberish.

Anyhow. I've spent the last week listening to old school hip-hop because it's got better lyrics than the shit that's on the charts right now. Yes, I'm old and complaining about the music of the youth of today. But also because I'm currently teaching my kids how to write poetry by using examples from rap. You know how hard it is to find lyrics that are meaningful in anything made post-2012 that isn't filled with explicit language, repeated mention of drugs or violence or calling women thots?
As an aside, I totally told one of my kids what a thot was yesterday and I will admit I took sick joy from saying 'ho' to a thirteen year-old. It shouldn't be as fun as it ended up being, but here we are. I'm going to blame the stress of teaching them for this hilarious lapse of judgement.

But for real. My student love to listen to Lil' Pump and no matter how many times I try to explain that Lil' Pump is an illiterate fool, they still come back with the idea that "Gucci Gang" is a brilliant song. While I've been known to pump it really loud when I'm driving, it's because it has a sick beat and I love to give my 10" kicker a workout every once in a while as well as the idea that it's a hilarious example of how far we are from God's light. Not because I think rhyming Gucci gang seven times and then mumbling something about bitches doing cocaine is the poetic equivalent of the Bard.

Needless to say, my students are loving my poetry unit. For a group of kids who hate homework, they're coming up with rhymes at home without me assigning homework and that's just a thing of beauty.

Also, can we talk about the fact that someone dug up Snow and put him on a track??? WHAT YEAR IS THIS? And in Spanish? I'm shook. Informa indeed. This week in music has been nothing but a confusing roller coaster of emotions for me. Like, country hip hop? Not since Nelly and Tim McGraw have I heard something so fucking out there. And Yelawolf coming out the woodwork, proving he's still worth it. I'm quaking mostly because I associate Yela with a time in my life I try not to dwell on.

Anyways, the main event. As always, I'm unapologetic.

xoxo,

-- ffh

10. congratulations (remix) - post malone ft quavo, future
9. mask off - future
8. break up with your girlfriend i'm bored - ariana grande
7. no new friends - sia, diplo, labrinth LSD
6. iv sweatpants  - childish gambino
5. wow. - post malone
4. rowdy - yelawolf
3. 7 rings - ariana grande
2. bad guy - billie eilish
1. dreamers - k flay 

'.... this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea. this life is only what you want it to be. and i want more, i want more. you go to heaven when you die i'm betting. you're still with me on the line? just checking. cause i've been making fast friends late night the kind when the sun sets like waking up and thinking honey, would i do it again?...'

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So I'm a few days behind. I'll blame the fact that it's Spring Break for me and I am enjoying the luxury of never turning on my laptop. But as we get closer to the weekend... I gotta.
So here I am, avoiding work! Naturally.

I'm currently in the middle of writing/developing/dreaming up a poetry in rap unit themed around power so I've been listening to the king of swagger (Ye) a lot and it took me down the dark path of Beyonce's Lemonade (I fucking love some of that album and despise the rest) followed quickly by Cudi and then Watch the Throne. Oh, the way we were...

"I miss the old Kanye, straight from the 'go Kanye. Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye."

'Nuff said.

Anyhow, forgive my sin of Ariana Grande. I know not what I do on these long days without a thirteen year-old telling me I'm trash.

xoxo
--ffh

10. thank u next - ariana grande
9. MAKEherSAY - connor gilbert
8. sorry - beyonce (tell 'em boy bye)
7. formation - beyonce
6. hold up - beyonce
5. a$ap forever - a$sap rocky, moby
4. feel the love - rudimental ft childish gambino
3. dreamers - k flay
2. 7 rings - ariana grande
1. molotov - kira puru

'... i can't find a fuck to give imma let this whole thing burn. be useful now, hold me drink time for you to watch and learn (hands off). keep your hands off boy... '

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I fucked up my knee playing recreational volleyball today. Again. This is a sign from the heavens that I should just stop.

I also have a mild vein-infection from an IV I had earlier this week. This was after the student LPN tried to start my IV four times in the other arm. I've got 4 poke holes in one arm and a gross infection in the other. I look like an inept intravenous drug user.

So as of today I cannot: bend my knee or go upstairs without considerable pain and have a gross bump/bruise on the back of my hand that hurts if you so much as look at it. Typing is... a process.

So far, being 31 can suck a donkey wiener. One week in and I'm 100% over it.

Also, I just learned that Outkast's Hey Ya is not the happy song it sounds like.
I have, apparently, never listened to the lyrics, but I assure you that a thread on Reddit told me that it's about a "meaningless relationship without any actual feelings, and that most people would rather be unhappy in such relationships out of fear of being alone. It is a subtle reference to loveless marriages, because the marital bond and tradition prevents people from doing the right thing." (Credit to r/Phtpnk). If you listen closely, Andre 3000 says, "y'all don't hear me, y'all just wanna dance" (Credit to r/flyingpenguin36). The more you know!

Anyhow, the currents today since clearly this week has not been kind to me. It's a small miracle I'm alive, to be honest.

xoxo
-- ffh

10. deafening red - clarence clairty & SHADI
9. get low - lil jon & the ying yang twins
8. bury a friend - billie eilish
7. silver springs - fleetwood mac
6. role models - walker & royce, OnCue
5. waterfalls - TLC
4. country grammar (hot shit) - nelly
3.about you - g flip
2. mr la di da di - the baker boys
1. bellyache - billie eilish


'... where's my mind. maybe it's in the gutter, where I left my lover. what an expensive fate. my v is for vendetta, i thought that i'd feel better but now i got a bellyache...'

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go shawty, it's your birthday

We gonna party like it's your birthday.

We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday.

You know that we don't give a fuck 'cause it's your birthday.




Thanks, 50. You make turning 31 29 just a little less awful.

 xoxo -- ffh

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I think this is the longest streak I've had on this blog in years. If that's not growth, I don't know what is. I think I've earned a break (hahahah).

I just watched Billie Eilish on Hot Ones and I'm a smitten kitten. I don't get it, but there it is. Plus... Hot Ones is among the best interview based shows out there. Kudos for the intelligent writing, concept and follow through. Never change.

I bet he smells like Backwoods and Doritos. 

The nerd rap is strong with this one (P.S.: what the fuck is nerd rap, exactly? Is this what Watsky is?). I would apologize but... No. While I fuck with that giant nerd with the hair I just want to wash (he-who-shall-not-be-named-just-referred-to-as-Skeeze aka Post Malone) more than I care to admit or will ever admit to, I like the quick quips and silver tongues elsewhere. Plus, is Post actually rap, or just a cautionary tale for the generation that grew up alongside the internet, not with it? "Millennials: this is what happens when you leave a kid in front of an x-box or computer screen. They're like gremlins when they get wet." I guess we'll never know as long as he keeps telling the impressionable youth of today that you can be both a gamer and a pill junkie rapper and redefining success. 

Don't get me wrong-- Austin is great. He's exploited the industry for whatever it was worth and I applaud him. I've been known to bump rockstar more than a few times so I like him well enough and respect his abilities. I just don't appreciate my lovely grade seven goblins knowing all the words. "I been fuckin' hoes and poppin' pillies man I feel just like a rockstar" is a curious phrase from a twelve-year old's mouth.

Old person rant over. Mostly. I am turning 31 Monday... Best be getting in my practice now.

Anyhow, the top 10 as of the last week.

xoxo
-- ffh

10. spooky language - the palmer squares
9. no complaints no conversation - watsky
8. song about you - mike posner
7. rosana - wax
6. single and famous - mc lars k.flay
5. no interruption - hoodie allen
4. light work - prof
3. better not - louis the child & wafia
2. bury your friends - billie eilish
1. fast talk - houses

'... maybe heaven is a ghetto with not bad blocks. shangrila dealers at the bus stop. and maybe god is just a cop that we can fast talk. so if you're guilty and you know it put your hands up 'cause karma's just different word for bad luck. what if death is just another pair of handcuffs? then we better run. "What up?" 
"Hey what's up man?" 
"Just thinkin' in my head that I'm going to be thirty-two years old tomorrow and I feel half alive and half completely dead."'

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lesson planning: an ode

or alternatively, "songs that make me hate thinking of differentiation a little less." teachers are humans, too. this teacher needs some grooves to think straight, so she thought she'd share her current jammy jams. is it too uncool to call them eargasms? am i dating myself?

this list is a no holds barred look at the fact that i'm over thirty and am desperately holding on to my middle school/high school days. i can distinctly remember hanging out in my parents basement, blasting a bootlegged copy of nelly's hot in herrr and dancing like some ratchet hoes well before the concept of being ratchet existed. ahh, the aughts-- what a wonderful time to have existed alongside pre-meltdown britney, slutty xtina, nelly and a generationally confused will smith. anyone remember gettin' jiggy with it? 

of course you do. it's only a masterpiece. 

anyways, put these on blast, but not in the way you air dirty laundry. i found most of these songs in a throwback party playlist on spotify but i've added some of my own choices because i personally cannot abide by having whitney houston anywhere. 

xoxo

-- ffh

blame it on the boogie - the jacksons

gettin' jiggy with it - will smith

rockafella skank - fatboy slim

smack my bitch up - the prodigy 

larger than life - backstreet boys 

call on me - eric prydz (side note: i have vivid memories of this music video being played on loop at a club. jesus i'm old)

better off alone - alice dj

gold digger - kanye west (my love of kanye runs long and deep)

thong song - sisqo (anyone know what happened to sisqo???)

every time we touch - cascada

around the world (la la la la la) - a touch of class & pete knoemann

bootylicious - destiny's child

bye bye bye - *nsync

sandstorm - darude

we like to party (the vengabus) - the vengaboys

it's gonna be me - *nsync

dirrty - christina aguilera & redman

space jam - quad city dj's

country grammar (hot shit) - nelly

hootnanny - bubba sparxxx

work it - missy elliiot

a milli - lil wayne

get low - lil john, ying yang twins & the east side boyz

get ur freak on - missy elliot

temperature - sean paul 

without me - eminem

stacey's mom - fountains of wayne

i believe in a thing called love - the darkness

butterfly - crazy town

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i gotta teach a poetry unit

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sometimes i forget i have this thing...

not like anyone but me ever reads it. but it's a nice place to come and remember a time when i liked writing and did it for fun. i've officially been in post-secondary for too long.

anyways, the creme de la creme.

xoxo
--ffh

begin post-script: can we please talk about the fact that it's 2019 and there's a backstreet boy song on this???? i'm both titillated and terrified.

actually... those two words can describe my life in general. end post-script. 

10. tusk - fleetwood mac
9. slip away - perfume genius
8. breathe - backstreet boys
7. the chain - fleetwood mac
6. peach scone - hobo johnson
5. come along - cosmo sheldrake
4. home alone - ansel elgort
3. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish
2. bobcageyon - the tragically hip
1. today is a gift - beowulf 

'.... quit, don't quit. noodles, don't noodles. you are too concerned with what was and what will be. there's a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that is why it is called the present.'

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